First things first. The fact that one person’s pregnancy is controversial is beyond me, but I suppose I’m adding to the conversation. But for good reason, I suppose. I hope?
I won’t pretend that this post will be inspiring or insightful. I have no intention to try and sway a person’s opinion and I certainly don’t expect to lecture one group or another.
But okay, let’s go there. I have a perspective that I think is worth adding to the conversation.
Like all posts as such, I’m not sure exactly where this will go. I’m going to write from the heart and hope there’s a lesson in there somewhere. And no, this topic doesn’t fit effortlessly into this blog but I want to use it as a way to give you some insight into my life.
So here we go. Kylie Jenner is pregnant, at 20 years old. The popular opinion seems to be that a 20 year old should not be pregnant because that is way too young to be having a baby.
Side note: There is zero judgment from me, but the fact that people are referring to Kylie’s age as opposed to her very public revelations about her insecurities surrounding fame and struggles with anxiety, that blows my mind. That’s not to say that people with these struggles shouldn’t have children (hi, sufferer of anxiety here,) but it’s much harder to bring a child into a world of mental health struggles as opposed to a world where you have more money than you know what to do with, unlimited resources, and help whenever and wherever you need it.
Okay, so why am I writing this post?
All of the shows, podcasts, and blogs that I follow that have discussed it have used this narrative -> “Kylie is only 20 years old. That is way too young to have a child. You can’t even drink. You’re irresponsible. It’s a bad message to put out there…..” or some variation of that.
Now, for those of you who are new here and are not subscribed to my YouTube channel, let me give you a quick synopsis of my young adult to adult life story.
I met my husband when I was 15 years old. We started dating when I was 16. He left for the Marine Corps when I was 17 years old. We were engaged when I was 18 years old. And at 18 years old, a couple of weeks after my high school graduation, I was married, packing up my car, and moving 3,000+ miles from anyone and anything I knew. My parents weren’t necessarily encouraging this sequence of events, but they were supportive and recognized this was my life journey, not theirs.
And then guess what? At 19 years old I was pregnant, something that we 100% planned for, and by 20 years old I gave birth to my first child. Today, after nearly 10 years of marriage, we have two gorgeous children (I had my second child 21 months after my first,) and we are healthy, happy, and thriving in our marriage.
While I am humble, I have no shame in saying I am an incredible mother. In my life I have always and will always prioritize my family above all else. I put my husband first, my children second. I volunteer at my children’s school regularly, I attend all of their practices and games; I read to them nightly, we discuss their day, every day. We dance around the living room watching music videos for hours on end. My kids are well mannered and have responsibilities. They selflessly bake goodies for our police offers and firefighters.
At 20 years old I managed to raise AMAZING children with my husband, despite society’s ideals.
And look, I get it. We are not your typical case. Stories like ours are heard of less and less these days. Furthermore, I would be lying if I said I want my children to take a similar path. However, these were my life choices and I don’t regret them for a second. I wouldn’t have done anything differently. And I certainly won’t be judging someone else for taking a similar path.
I was always told I was an “old soul.” You know the saying, 13 going on 30. On my wedding day my friends told me verbatim “we knew you would be the first one to get married.”
Let’s not get it twisted though. There are still times when I think I handle a situation immaturely and I’m going on 30 years old. I often feel naive and ignorant.
That’s a part of growth. No matter the age.
Moral of the story: Being 20 years old doesn’t make someone a unfit mom. You know what does? Drugs. Abuse. Manipulation. Addiction.
I feel gross even contributing to this conversation because I don’t know Kylie Jenner. I can’t possibly have an informed opinion on someone I know very little about.
What I do know is that there are young moms all over the world who feel the shame that is spoken into them. The judgement. The misinformation. This judgment is undeserving and it isn’t protective in actually helping a young mom become a great mom.
I was that young mom and thankfully I don’t feel a single ounce of guilt for being so.
That is all. xo, tara